EXCUSE ME, my blog just farted =/

Thursday, August 31, 2006

N.U.M.B
that's what i wanna feel i'd rather feel nothing nothing to everything that way,i have to think of nothing nothing at all that's the best of all cause i'm tired ofmany many things cause i have all sorts of confusing feelings when i think back so many regrets so many questions i wish someone could give me the answer the answer to why i've become that wayi kept constantly thinking about it it's like my routine have to think of itevery single day i know i'll never know the answer but just can't help to keep questioning myself looking for possible answers but maybe cause it's meant to be that way but somewhere in my head it's telling me it's something more than fate so what is it? i have a lot of questions to ask but what's the use?no one knows the answer i'm tired of searching for the answer maybe there just isn't any i've taken my life as a prison sentence i live to serve that sentence when i look down at my feet i can see shackles i'm wearing a prison uniformin my prison cell,my days are spent thinking whatever did i do to be stuck in this pit and will i see the end ofthis sentence i know i shouldn't cling on to the past but it's become a part of me it's become a habit i want to look forward but my head just turns the other way even though i know there's nothing behind for a long long time even till i take my last breath every step i take forward my head turns back on its own but sometimes i reproach myself for thinking such things when right in front of me is something i don't think i'll every have in any other lifetime when right behind me is something i smile about that's why i'm so messed up i don't know what to feel this thing call feeling is evil to me right now i've wanted to shut the door but i'll probably rot even faster then i regret and hate myself again stop thinking stop feeling then everything will be alright yeah right...i know i'm confusing i made myself confused tired of understanding
sorry is not enough thank you is not enough hate is not enough i don't know what i'm talking

excuse me :X
5:18:00 PM

Sunday, August 27, 2006

fate/stay night

Caster

Rider

Berserker

Gilgamesh

Assassin

Saber

Lancer

Archer

the pics above are some Servants from Fate/stay night

Kirei: This fight is called the Holy Grail War. It is a contest between seven Masters who use Servants. We do not wish for this tyranny to happen. It is a means to select the one suitable for the Holy Grail.

Emiya: That can't be! The Holy Grail is only a legend!

Kirei: The Holy Grail that appears in this city is quite real. One of the proofs for this is the presences of wonders such as the Servants. The Servants are beings very near to natural spirits. Legendary heroes of the past and of the present are materialized through the Holy Grail. They usually are present near their Masters as spirits, but Masters can make them materialize and fight at need.

Emiya: Ok, let's say there is a Holy Grail, there's still no reason to kill each other. If it's such a great thing, we should share it among everyone.

Kirei: That's a sound opinion, but we are not free to do so. The Holy Grail will choose people suitable for itself and will make them compete to select only one to hold it. The Holy Grail itself chooses the seven Masters and summons the Servants. This is the Holy Grail War. It is an advent ritual in which the Masters kill each other to be chosen by the Holy Grail and to acquire it.

Emiya: Even if only one is selected, there's no reason to kill the other Masters!

Tohsaka: Wait, there's no rule saying that Masters must kill each other. The Holy Grail is a spirit. Only Servants, being spirits as well, can touch it. The objective of the Holy Grail War is to remove every Servant other than your own

Emiya: Oh, so when only your Servant remains, only your Servant can touch the Holy Grail.

Tohsaka: Yes, so if you defeat the Servant, then there's no need to kill its Master.

Emiya: If that's so, you could've told me earlier. Then even if I take part in the Holy Grail War, there's no reason for you to die, right?

Kirei: Let me ask you one thing: Do you think you can defeat your own Servant? Servants are powerful. Not even servants themselves, let alone Masters, can defeat each other easily. But without Masters, Servants cannot exist on their own. Therefore, killing Masters is the most efficient method for killing Servants.

these are some dialogues from Fate/stay night

Fate/stay night rox!!! :D

excuse me :X
6:57:00 PM

Thursday, August 24, 2006

the silence of itmakes me wonderit is a cyclethat will never go a different paththis time, i'm not gonna ask whycause there isn't an explanation for iti'll just let it bethe way it should be
guilt, this is what i feelto my mother, i'm really sorryi couldn't believe i was that kind of personthat would do such a thing to youi was a monsterand i'll make it up to you

"i am the bone of my sword
steel is my body, and fire is my blood
i have created over a thousand blades
unkown to death
have withstood pain to create many weapons
yet, those hands will never hold anything
so as i pray, unlimited blade works"
Archer, fate/stay night

excuse me :X
8:09:00 PM

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

\ /
\ /
\ /
\/

excuse me :X
11:19:00 PM

Monday, August 14, 2006

thinking back
i still don't get why
you were never judgmental
at least, not about me
i spent half of my time
trying to figure this out
cause it seems like a big mystery to me
i've always wanted to ask why
but it would sound weird
maybe there isn't a 'why' to it
you may not know it but
you played a big part
in helping me survive in school
you may not know who you are
but one thing's for sure
i'm glad i got to know someone like you
thank you,
the only one who is worthy to be called my best friend. =D

excuse me :X
10:38:00 PM

Saturday, August 12, 2006

argh haii sigh
i dunno what to do
tell me leh
or just do me a favour
get out and stay out once and for all can?

excuse me :X
12:07:00 AM

Thursday, August 10, 2006

i predicted how my life
was gonna be like
and now i've realized
how wrong i am
i'm a lousy predictor
nothing every happens
the way you want it to be
i never thought i would be
in the state i am in now
is it my fault?
or is it just supposed to happen?
is it all planned out?
now i don't dare to even think about
what my future will be like
cause i'm scared it will turn out
the exact opposite
just like what is happening now

excuse me :X
6:58:00 PM

Sunday, August 06, 2006

i'm tired
it reflects on my eyes
i've been tired for a long long time
i've been disappointed a lot times
until i finally realized
maybe this is it
maybe this is how it has to be
i couldn't care anymore
i'm tired of caring
just let me be cold
nothing ever seems right
and they never will
i just figured out my purpose in life-to suffer
my life is a down hill slope
the medicine gets more bitter
i don't bother to look up anymore
i'm a flop
and i blame myself for that
for being so stupid enough
to mess up a life which was so good before
if you can feel my heart
you won't find the least bit of happiness in it
you won't feel warmth
all you'll feel is cold, hatred and hurt
if one day i don't speak to you anymore
please forgive me
cause i'm in a state of insanity.

excuse me :X
3:02:00 PM