Sunday, November 26, 2006
lying on the table
is a piece of paper
there are handwritten printings on it
but they are hard to make out
because they are in codes
with the paper, there's the decipherer
but it doesn't matter
because whoever inhibits the room
will never run those fingers through the decipherer
the verdict given with just one look
is enough to leave the paper desolated
not made of fine quality, the paper was
but did you know it came with a cause?
those arduous, painstaking codes
written by the hands of someone
who stood under the blown-out lamp on the street
the heart and soul of the darkest shining star in the sky
it was a test, to see if you even bothered
with all those breath-taking posters,
the paper don't even stand a chance
besides, you would most probably shrug it off your shoulder
because you couldn't care less
even though you are just one unit out of many others
the writer sees it all
maybe one day, out of absolute boredom
you would give the paper a shot
and one by one, the codes turned from
gibberish to senses in your head
you are processing the information
the bulb in your mind finally lights up
from your window, for the first time ever,
you found the blown-out lamp that nobody bothered to fix
you kept your gaze there
just like the lamp, the paper ages with time
the rusty stand of the lamp,
the yellow corners of the paper eating itself up
you tried to look for the writer under the dormant lamp
you don't see her
with each day that you ignored the paper,
the shadow casted by the lamp grew bigger
until she was consumed, by the shadows
that enticed her while she stood there
because they seem to care better
if you'd look your window sooner,
the paper wouldn't have lost all it's meaning,
along with the trace of her.
excuse me :X
12:24:00 PM
Sunday, November 19, 2006
i see dark clouds in the sky
the house is gloomier than ever
it looks strange to me
i find it hard to smile here
i have no idea what to do
i think it's gonna be torn apart soon
nothing will feel the same again
everything seem to be sinking
down, down, down
right to the bottom of
a bottomless pit
excuse me :X
11:42:00 PM
Monday, November 13, 2006
bro
maybe i was wrong
but do you know sometimes,
i don't dare to do certain stuff
because i worry that you
might be jealous because of it?
i don't want to see the ugly
side of you.
all i wanted is for you to be happy
AND to be happy for others.
i know you can achieve the first
but i'm not so positive about the latter.
can't you be happy for somebody else
other than yourself for once?
all i see is that,
everytime somebody (esp me),
gets something better than you,
you'd be so jealous of it,
and think that i don't
deserve it because i'm younger.
what kind of logic is that?
seriously,
you are the most conceited, self-centered
person i've ever met.
it really sucks to see you like that.
everytime i see the ugly side of you,
i hoped that one day you can really
open up that puny heart of yours,
and truly be happy for others,
and realize the joy of being happy
for others.
excuse me :X
10:25:00 PM
Sunday, November 12, 2006
if only you'd been 2 years earlier...
just a turn of the face
and i could see yours up close
looking straight ahead
i'm listening
those words have lost all
of their meanings
i'm picturing it in my head
you're clinging onto the edge of the cliff
with your bare fingers
one by one, they slipped off
and i'm just standing there,
watching
"if only you'd been 2 years earlier"
i said
"if only you'd been 2 years earlier,
those words that you spoke of
might still have the remotest meaning
in them.
they might even penetrate me."
i put down my phone
the sky is gloomier than ever
i can sense a despondent aura beside
"thanks for trying,though.
now at least i know."
excuse me :X
11:16:00 PM
Friday, November 10, 2006
interesting fact/myth
i read it somewhere
in a book i think
they said after 7 years
not one molecule in your body
would be the same
it's like you're a whole new person
or something like that
i wonder if it's true...
hmm...
lately
i've lost my inspiration
for 'poems' or short stories
that i used to write
sigh
come back, inspiration!
i've got candies...x)
excuse me :X
11:29:00 PM
i noticed...
that i always write about
events that happen yesterday
i'm always one day behind
x)
anyways,
yesterday,
i went out with my pri sch friends
we agreed to meet at cck mrt station
i was the third to arrive
sigh
i wanted to be last
haha xp
according to kh,
i was 12 minutes late, or was it?
yx was the worst =x
most than half an hr late...
and it's very unfortunate
i did not arrive that late
or else i wouldn't be one of the victims
sigh
pathetic me
anyway, what happened was
just after a while after
i arrived
there's this boy
who came up to us
(there were 3 of us)
and streaked for less
than a minute
before asking us to donate $4
we were all like: huh?
what did you just say?
cause seriously, he talked so fast
you can't even understand what's
he saying
on top of that, the mrt station
is kinda noisy
so the only two words that were clear was:
"donate $4"
-.-'
we were of course reluctant
but he wouldn't let us off
keep talking trash and
say he very cute -.-"
then yn was the first to donate
cause the guy said $4, so it was kinda okay
and yn did not have exact amount
so she gave him $10
but the guy only return a $4 change
and plead her to donate $6
then she try to argue
but he won't budge
then she gave in
sigh
then he went off
i heaved a sigh
then after a while
he returned and told
us is our turn to donate
kh and me
when i saw him walking towards
us again, my eyes widened and i told
kh and yn:
"omg, he's back!"
geez, that guy
did he think we would not
recognize him after
less than 5 minutes?
at least, come back with a
different face or something la
go buy a mask or whatever la
still have the cheek to strut
back to us like nobody's business
the second time round
he targeted me,
cause yn and kh sort of
ran off and left me there
and there he goes, with his crap
talking
and initially said that i can
donate $2, and that's
fine with him
so i confirmed with him:
"$2 only har?"
then he say "yeah"
i thought he would
feel guilty for tricking my friend
and was serious this time
cause i don't have
exact amount i gave him
$10, and guess what
the believable of all believables
the gullible of all gullibles
he gave me $4 back,
and beg me to donate $6
!!!!!!!!
while he was finding change for me
i saw him digging into his pocket
and a lot of notes came out
i was thinking, how many
people have he tricked?
i didn't want to think
i know arguing with him
is pointless
cause he seem bent on keeping my $6
so, to get him off my back
i just let him be
and he went off
to bug other people
great relief!
i can't believe i got con
after seeing my friend
suffer the sam fate just
minutes before
haii
these kind of donation has
become from donating because
you want to do something nice
for a certain organization
to donating jsut to get those
people off your back
that's what i did
cause seriously, that guy
is more unreasonable than me
this is call yi shan hai bi yi shan gao
haha
then later, we were terrified of that area
we were scared that that guy would return again
so we went of to the side of the mrt station
then another one of those guys approach
at least, this guy is not that unreasonable
he didn't stick to us like glue
but he seemed very dejected
i mean, the look on his face,
it looked like he was tired of living
or something
that's very sad, but i did not donate
cause i was still pissed at the previous one
then a middle aged man came up to us
he asked us to buy a $2 bread from him
cause he said he was out of job of something
he was really pitiful
i really wanted to donate but
i can't cause i'm afraid i would
not have enough money to watch movie later
as we had planned
so i said i do not have enough money
that was then when i realyl regretted
having donated to the wrong person
i find the middle aged man more worthy
of donation
cause the boy from before
he looked like an ahbeng
his hair with streaks of purple
sigh
then we were really terrified
of that place
scared that more people would
ask us for donation
so we went inside
and still, yx hasn't arrived
we were really bored
and played with the lift
lol -.-'
and once, because of us,
one lady with a pram couldn't
get into the lift
haii
we played 4 times in total
up and down up and down
and finally,yx arrived
then we head to vivo city
long trip there
vivo was really big, man
i walked one round around a level
and my legs were already
tired -.-'
i'm not really a shopper type
we had a hard time looking
for the cinema
cause none of us could remember
where it was
finally we found it!
but couldn't decide what to watch
kh only wants to watch the grudge 2
and 3 of was against it
in the end
we were 3 against 1 for
the prestige
kh was the 1
haha
kh kept complaining that
the presitge wasn't nice
and keep saying that we
will surely regret it
but we went to watch it anyway
cause we concluded that he has
weird taste
last time he said death note was not nice
but when i watched it, it was quite nice
so from then on, i was doubtful of his taste
haha
as there was no other movies
he'd like to watch, he said
he'd go shop around while we watch
i was thinking, shopping for 2hrs alone
that's gotta be damn boring
the movie commence at 4
the time we bought the ticket was 2plus
still early, so we went to eat
and walked for a bit
the prestige
turned out to be the exact
opposite of what kh had said
to him, it was bad
to me, it was nice
very nice
though the timeline
was a bit confusing
but i liked it
i mean its like they
give you the ending in
the beginning
then went back to the past
with pieces of the present
they keep going back and forth
past and present
and that would make you wonder
whether it's past or present
it sets you thinkning
they give you discrete
pieces of the story
with a big hole in the middle
cause you haven't got the full story yet
then as you watched
you will constantly try to fit all the
pieces together so they make sense
until when you finally see the big picture
that's when you go: "ohh~" in your head
the storyline's interesting too
not those typical ones that are
so predictable
it was a fun movie
those i'm not familiar with
the actors in the movie
there was this english actor
he looked like tom cruise
his bone structure and everything
and i called him the tom cruise guy
though he's really christian bale
did i get the name right?
i hope so...
haha two magicians competing
sabotaging each other
and malicious plotting
that's what makes a movie invigorated
i would like to see more of these kind
of movies
and i didn't not regret
the slightest bit
totally worth it
contrary to what kh predicted
and in the movie when there was
a flashback, they wouldn't tell you
so you have to figure it ou yourself
and that's why it's fun
after we watched to movie,
it was 6 plus already
kinda late
then we walked for a bit
actually, it was trying to look
for the exit to the mrt station
the most interesting converstaion
was about hemma
haha =x
i was the first to alight
so what they talked after that,
i wouldn't know
i had a great time, as usual =D
my english's very bad here, i know
got a lot of spelling mistakes
but i couldn't be bothered
not today...
excuse me :X
10:00:00 PM
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
hurray!
got into the class i wanted!
triple science! =D
but why change the order?
isn't it all the same?
it's just numbers...
there you were sitting on my fence
lousy pesticide.
excuse me :X
5:37:00 PM
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
1 more day
of freedom
after i know the results
things will be different
i'll either curl up in
one corner
and have those sullen aura
around me
or prance about in the house
which is gonna happen?
don't wanna think about it
but
i was happily watching
anime today when my bro came in
and said:
tomorrow is the eight leh...
then i said:
so?
what's the occasion, i was thinking...
then it struck me
oh!
sigh
i would remain carefree for
the rest of the day
if it wasn't for him
why did he have to
remind me??
now i can't stop thinking about it
anyway yesterday
i was suppose to meet ml at
je mrt station at 10am
i set the alarm to 8 the night before
i woke up at eight, but then fell
alseep again cause i felt it was
too early
the next time i woke up
it's 10
right on dot
then i was wondering to myself
hey..i was suppose to do something
at 10 today right?
then i gasped
i dashed out of my room
and to the living room
to get my handphone
and immediately called
ml to apologise
i've never said so many sorries
in 1 minute
well, not the kind of sorries
which i meant it
then i told her it'll take
prolly ard 1/2 hour for me to get there
so i went to the bathroom
brush my teeth
and lalelalelalelale
until 10.30
and i wasn't out of the house yet
-.-'
and so, by the time i reached there
it was 10.52
so close!
8 more minutes and that
would make an hour liao!
ahhh, cannot make the record!
boo
at least ml wasn't that mad
phew
thought she would throw things at me =x
no la..jkjk
then we took the mrt to plaza singapura
we deliberately went there because
my bro ask me to help him
collect chops
they'll give you a chop
for every ticket bought
and that was at that cathay only
so i thought cathay was inside ps
it was when i bought the ticket
then i realized it was gv
-.-'
cathay was not inside the building
it was outside de beside beside
the consequence:
nope, i did not ask for a refund
too much of a hassle
instead, when i got home
i smsed my bro earlier on about
my unfortunate mistake
he replied lol nvm
but i know it's not just a
simple never mind
when it comes to him
it's never that simple
so as i was saying, when i got home
he said:
i'm astounded by your stupidity
or did he say dumbness?
can't remember but it was
something along that line
so after we bought the ticket,
we still had an hr to spare
so we walked around the mall
then we heard a music blasting
throughout the mall
we checked it out
and it was some african performers
performing to promote africa
then it reminded me
i wanted to go to africa someday
experience the wilderness and everything
then it was time to watch the movie
we're watching death note
it was quite nice
but somewhat different
from the anime
after that
when we got out of the theatre
we were freakingly cold
our teeth were practically
chattering
it was around 3 plus then
we decided to go to
je library
since i wanted to reutrn
some books anyway
so from ps to je
very long distance
on the mrt
there were no seats available
so we had to stand
but after some time
we were both complaining
about our legs being tired
of standing
so i suggested:
let's sit down
ml turned behind to look
then turn back and said:
don't have seats how to sit
then i pointed on the floor
in front of me and said:
i mean sit on the floor
then she said:
you siao ah. later ppl think we crazy.
i said:
no la..this is call special
then after some time
she gave in to my idea
then we sat on the floor
i couldn't care less if ppl
kept looking at us
or think we're nuts
my legs were already
screaming for me to rest them
ahh...it felt good to sit down
after so many hours of walking
halfway through the journey
there were some vacant seats
we quickly grabbed them
and ahh..again
cuz it felt better to sit
in a non-crossed-leg position
but we couldn't enjoy it for long
cuz we're almost reaching je
while i was about doze off
i received a sms from,
lo and behold,
my bro
-.-'
( not a gd thing)
he asked me when
i was coming home
you might think he's
concern about me
but no~
far from it
the next sentence:
help me get
( i still rmb vividly what the vicious sms said)
a 0.5 2b lead, an eraser and 2 o.5 dark blue pens
see now?
this is his real concern
when we were nearing je
ml told me to wake her up when
we got there
but then
even before she could close
her eyes
we were there
sigh
so we head to popular
got the stuff and came out
then ml said she need to
go to the toilet
i was like:
again!
didn't we went there at ps
just before leaving?
i said:
you having menopause ah? xp
cuz she resembles my mom
in a way that she always needs
to go to the toilet
so one day i asked my mom:
why you always need to go toilet?
menopause ah?
then she said:
yeah lor...maybe...
so there you have it
my inference for ppl
who always goes to the
toilet:
menopause
but this is not possiible
for a teenager
i have common sense you know
but someone insists i was
born without it
if you're clever enough
you'll know who
so when i said that
i doubt she(ml, not my mom) heard it
cause she was already
rushing down the stairs
to the toilet
i took the esclator
and slowly descended
looking very amused
cuz ml was rushing off
to the toilet
just like mom
except, the purpose is different
apparently, ml rushed
off ever so urgently to the toilet
was because of her hair
i did not see what she did
inside the toilet
cuz by the time i got there
she was coming out
then i thought:
wah so fast ah...
surely is the hair
anyway,
after that we went to the library
then another vicious sms came
this time, it's a different kind of vicious
cause it said:
n help me get 2 sticks of clorets,
a twisties and a 1.5l drink
see what i mean?
and don't have to guess
also know who it's from
i guess that would have to be
his lunch
that was around 4 plus
we borrowed some books
at the borrowing machine
is there a proper name for it?
or is it just borrowing machine?
we saw this ad
it says borrow 8 books
and get to redeem a bag
ml borrowed 7 books
me 3 books
we thought is add together
8 books can liao
so we went to the service counter
and enquired
but the librarian said
is 8 books per card
so no bag
in the end
we went to watsons
to get a plastic bag for ml
to put her books in
cause her sling bag was too small
then we head for the supermarket
beside the entertainment centre
and got my bro the things he wanted
after that, i was seriously broke
went out with a heavy purse
returned with a very light purse
all thanks to my bro
ml peeled off the other way
and i crossed the road
and walked towards the mrt station
carrying books, twisties
and a 1.5l drink
why does it have to be 1.5l?
any drink my bro buys
it'll be 1.5l
standard
so when i finally reached home,
it was ard 6
i heard someone cooking
in the kitchen
but reckon it wasn't my mom
cause the shadowy figure
against the wall was tall
so it had to be my bro
the eldest one
when i appeared in the kitchen
he said:
so you finally decided to come home ha?
this is the kind of greeting in my household
it originated from my second bro
one day, i came home late, i think
then my second bro saw me and said:
so you finally decided to come home ha?
this greeting has been adopted since then
back to the kitchen
my bro said:
come home so late,
you know what time is it liao?
then i said: very late meh? 6 plus only.
he said: when did i sms you? you said you
were coming home at ard 3. now look at the time.
i said: aiya..so?
he said: you said you were coming home
at ard 3 so i ask you to help me buy
those things. that was suppose to be my lunch leh.
then i thought: oops. so this is the prob. ahhh~
i smiled stupidly and said:
you never tell me wad...
then he gave me that look
the look he always gimme
so you can call it his look
and this converstaion was not serious
don't get the serious atmosphere
we hardly get a serious atmosphere
among the 3 of us
so dont' get so tense
so change topic
i asked: mom coming home late ah?
cuz if my bro's cooking
it usually means my mom's gonna
be home late
i forgot what he replied
but it was not a helpful
response
then i asked him some more
questions
again, not helpful
but he grab hold of this chance
and ask me help him do this do that
i didn't even get a chance to put down
my bag
what a torture hor? xp
while i was helping him
we talk a lot of crap
crap is on the top
of the list of things to talk about
if it isn't crap
you know something's amiss
okay, so i wasn't really of any help
cause first mistake,
as pointed out by my bro
he prepared a bowl of meat
and a bowl of onions, i think
he said:
help me pour oil inside
and pointed to the bowl
of onions
i heard: help my pour all
then i thought: pour all the onions
to where?
then i looked at the bowl of meat
and assumed that should be it
then i asked again to confirm:
pour all ah?
i think he heard it as: pour oil ah?
so he nodded and i went on ahead
to pour all the onions into the bowl of meat
then he said: nooo!
i was like: huh? i thought you said
pour all into the meat?
he said: no~ i said pour OIL.
then i said: oh..oil ha? say properly ma...
i was laughing like mad already
then i was made to scoop
all the onions up from the bowl
of meat
then he said: u ha..ask you
do such simple things also cannot..
i am utterly disappointed...haii
that's his catchphrase to me
always said that
but it's meant to be in
a humorous way
so it doesn't mean anything
2nd mistake:
he was trying to make the rice
crispy by somehow frying it
not with a lot of oil
but the rice needs
to be turn every 5 mins
i didn't know that
he just instructed me to
flip the rice at 7.48pm
while he bathes
so i did
then at ard 7.58pm
i heard my mom called
( by that time she was home
and sitting on the couch
watching tv cuz there's something
interesting on it)
and said in chinese:
fan chao da liao lor
i was by then, sitting
comrfotably in my room
enjoying a book
then i thought: eh? how come?
i though i flip liao?
then i rushed to the kitchen
and my bro just came out of the bathroom
and i saw the rice was indeed
burnt
when i saw my bro was
about to say that
it's my fault and i'm disappointing
or something like that
again
i quickly protested:
all you asked me to do was to flip
the rice at 7.48 and i did
then he said: between 7.43
(the time he went to bathe)
and 7.48 is how long?
i replied: 5 minutes
he said: uhuh. it's not like
you don't know this type
of rice needs to be flipped
every 5 mins
be reminded that
he wasn't reprimanding me
he hardly ever reprimands me
this is meant to be
in a humorous way, again!
you'd have to experience
these kind of converstaion with him
to know what it's like
hard to describe
then i said: oh~
laughing madly again
you may not understand this
but what the heck
then when dinner was ready
he said:
today you made 4 mistakes,
4 sins ( haha right...very serious..lol)
first, you poured the onions
into the bowl of meat
second, you created
the burnt rice
third, you came home late
and made me have no lunch
fourth, ( i can't remember )
i listened happily and
countered, beaming:
if out of 10 things i made
4 mistakes, that means
i did 6 things right!
he gave me his look
then he changed his mind:
nope, actually, its 6 mistakes.
he named the fifth and the sixth
but i can't remember
what they were
then i thought:
i can't say if out of 10 things
cause 6 is already more than
half of 10
so i said:
if out of 20 things,
i made 6 mistakes,
that means i did 14 things right!
then he replied:
stop increasing the number of things! xp
we crapped sommore
but can't remember what
after that we had our dinner
and not much happened
afterwards
so the end.
haha i know this is
super duber uber long
longest ever
and most detailed ever
clap clap!
and oh by the way
my 2nd bro officially
became our household
guinea pig yesterday
cuz he couldn't be bothered to cook
so everytime we cooked
something and needed testing
we'd call for him
and he would test it for us =)
if it would make them happy
it's enough for me
three days grace!
awesome band!
awesome songs!
i can't believe i've
never heard of them
until now xp
now that i do
they rock!
my pick:
1.are you ready
2.gone forever
3.i hate everything about you
4.riot
5.time of dying
6. wake up
super nice! =)
excuse me :X
12:48:00 PM
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
i just finished reading the book:
the last templars by raymond khoury
very thick but nice
i don't understand the last part, though
sigh
the date of the release of the results is nearing
i can't wait for that day
i'm afraid to check
i even asked my bro to help me check
but both of them having exam on that day
nonetheless, my big bro still offered
to try if he can
so touched...
haha no la...
but then, if he help me check
there's a chance he would trick me
and give me heart attack
before telling me the truth
by then, i think my spirit
would have gone somewhere else
but there's also a chance he won't
cause this is serious
and he knows this matters a lot to me
because i've been telling him about it
almost everyday
maybe it's better to check it myself
since it's my business anyway
sheesh
confused
not gonna think about
i'll ponder over it
on the day before it
or else clog up my mind
i've been thinking should i post that thing
the thing that i've written about
i personally think it's nice
but the message inside is not
if i post it
i hope nobody will realize
what i'm trying to say
and who i'm refering to
but i think it's better not to
i don't wanna risk it
besides, it'll be the past soon
but i think i'll keep it
in my computer
so that in the future
when i have the time
i can take a look at it again
and be reminded that
something like this happened
if (touch wood), something happens
to my computer and lost all its data
including that piece of work
all i can say is
so be it
this just shows that
it wasn't meant to be kept
and i wasn't meant
to be reminded of it
excuse me :X
9:57:00 PM
this song is nice!
check it out!
lyrics for the red jumpsuit apparatus- face down
Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say you're right again,say you're right again
heed my lecture
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt, she said,
this doesn't hurt, she said,
I finally had enough.[x2]
One day she will tell you that she has had enough
it's coming round again.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.[x2]
Face down in the dirt, she said,
this doesn't hurt, she said,
I finally had enough.
excuse me :X
12:19:00 AM
