Friday, December 29, 2006
this is another piece i wrote
just after the previous one
i wrote both of them in one night
so it might not be that good
also, i tried my hardest to rhyme
but some parts doesn't
so here
a poster up against the wall
you don't notice it at all
unless you're really bored
or needed to talk
it's been pinned up for ages now
but you never slowed down
to take a look
because you are just too booked
with stuff you know it's going nowhere
but you just didn't care
during the day the sun's too bright
and at night, there just wasn't any light
the times when you stop to stare
were because you're playing with someone else's hair
you never really read the words
'cause you were always distracted by the birds
then one day when you were lonely
'cause all your friends turn phoney
you walk the same way
just like any other day
things seem different
and you know it's all because of a reason
something's amiss
like dropped out of the list
it's staring you right in the face
but you remain unfazed
then it hit you right in the head
that something's gonna fade
that something's suppose to be there
but just disappeared into thin air
left with only a mark, to show that it was there
you pass by it everyday
but you never knew what is was trying to say
excuse me :X
6:53:00 PM
there you are, at the turnstiles
screening out the good and the bad
many have passed, many you have missed
as they pass through, they wait for the moment
the light will either turn red or green
doors will open, leading to different paths
one of them is just the exit, the other a special place
the place,though special, feels like winter
it's desolated, and anyone's hardly there to warm it up
when it was her turn, there was no light
with no indication, she had no direction
at a distance, there was a door
it looked like it has never been opened before
with nowhere else to go, she followed
there was a chair, and it looked like it has always been there
just waiting for the one to put it to use
so she sat, and the door closes like that
in the far corner of the brain, where it always rain
until some miracle happens, that's where she'll remain,
waiting......
excuse me :X
12:17:00 AM
Monday, December 18, 2006
i've been thinking about
changing my blog skin
but i just can't find the right one
and i don't know how to make one either
so there
i'm stuck with this blog for
gawd knows how long
until the day i find the right one
i'm gonna hafta stick with this one
my dad told me, the best time to learn
things is when you're young
so i'm going to learn as much as possible
the things that i want to learn
and concentrate on these things
cause they really weigh much more in the value scale
or ' worth-it-scale'
the thing that has been on my mind for a long time now
though it occupies large area of my brain
is big but totally couldn't even tip the value scale
i don't know why but it just keeps popping up
i want that damn thing to go away every single darn day
but it had to be so stubborn
i've tried luring it away with sweets
but i realize it doesn't have a sweet tooth
i've tried making my brain the most
unfavourable place to stay
but it ain't budging
it's just there, not moving a muscle
if it has one
don't you just want to pounce
on it and scratch and chew on it
until it dies
i know it's disgusting
and oh my gawd is my bro
reading my blog?
he just made a comment
that got me really suspicious
if he really is, then i'm
keeping all comments about him
to myself
i was going to say something
about annoying and him
but i decided to delete it
cause that's my secret trick
and i'm not letting him have it
ha!
actually i shoud thank him
for making that comment
from now on i'll be more careful
speaking of blog
he used to have one
i know because i saw it once
when i went to his room
i couldn't catch his url
cause he closed it quickly
but i know it's a ridiculously
long long name
and oh, before he closed
the window, i got to see his
latest post, almost the first sentence
i still remember vividly because
it starts with something like this:
today my crazy sis don't know...sth sth
and after i saw that, i've been dying
to see what comes next
i've begged him to tell me his url
i've tried figuring out on my own
but all of them don't work
it'll remain one of the mysteries
of my life
are you reading this, bro?
cause i'm not letting go
of that incident
i still want to know
the end of the sentence
or paragraph
ahh i want to know everything
what did i exactly do? hmmm...
i know i'm blabbering gibberish
it's my mouth
it's entitled to speak whatever it wants
when it yaps, it yaps
in this case, it's wording out my thoughts
i don't know the correct term for wording
i must let out my thoughts
so that new thoughts can enter
hopefully good ideas too xp
oh my gawd is that a half naked lady
standing at the entrance of the airport on tv?
she's only wearing a somesort hawaiian grass skirt
ah don't worry, she's not crazy
she's from some tribe from somewhere
i'm not really paying attention
cause i have to type this and watch
i'm thinking, those guys at the airport
must be really enjoying what they're seeing
enough of this
-end of rubbish-
excuse me :X
6:58:00 PM
Sunday, December 17, 2006
if i pass grade 6
then next yr i'll be moving on to grade 7
the gao zi, in chinese
and i totally suck
i still don't know how to tune properly
haii
failure ah me
so i must buck up
and live up to that grade
i've been slacking
geez
stop slacking!!!
if not, then i'll be the suckiest person in the
high grade club, who is only a figurehead =(
excuse me :X
7:02:00 PM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
oh i've been doing fine
only that there's this uber big
and clear clock right in front of me
as i watch as time ticks by
i'm rotting here
wondering what i'm gonna do
i'm sympathizing myself for being so useless
cause if i'm not doing something useful
i feel useless
just like that
the jumbo wall clock,
that's what it says itself is
okay, top screen says 8.29
in a very big font
with the : flashing
bottom screen says 12/13(date) WED 32 degree celsius
it had to be right in front of me
and i'm beginning to think that the clock is sinister,
taunting me
yup, i'm describing every detail of this clock
cause you know why
because this clock has become the most interesting thing in this house
it's digital, it moves, and the : flashes!
oooh great
i'm nuts
excuse me :X
8:17:00 PM
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
it's been 4 days since my bro was enlisted in the army
i never thought i would miss him that much
his absence is very conspicuous
but i need to take this as a training
cause this is only the beginning
as years pass by, he's gonna be home less
for whatever reasons
he's gonna have his own life, get married and whatso ever
i can't really rely on him that much anymore
i just really miss my childhood
the 3 of us goofing around together
those were the happy days
one day, my dad asked my how i feel
about my bro being in the army
i told him i feel like something's missing
but i'll get used to it
i have to
then he said, i think the older you grow, the more things you lose
that's what he felt
i kinda agree with him, but not totally
i lost my childhood, the days when i was really happy
it's kinda ironic, like everybody said so
when you're young, you can't wait to grow up
cause you wanna have your own freedom
then when you've grown up, you'd regret that you ever felt that way
humans are like that
when you have it, you don't treasure it
but when it's gone, that's only when you realize its worth
but you know, i'm glad it happen
all those fun back then, though i would give anything
to have them back, but i know it's not possible
so all i can do is reminisce about those days
it's enough to make me smile
and everytime i feel like my life is seedy
i just think about the 2 towers standing by my sides
in the many photos of the photo album
the 2 figures on my left and right in the theatre
this is how i comfort myself
so you see how much value they have in my eyes
in the world of my past, i'm the luckiest girl
and oh by the way, speaking of girl
the message on the screen inside my dad's car says:
wanen is a boy hahaha
sometimes i wonder....x)
i don't want to make anything my everything
i don't want to rely so much on anything
cause when the pillar collapses,
or when you wake up from snoozing and
realize that the pillar is not there anymore,
what are you gonna do?
you've become a vegetable, leaning on the pillar all your life
your crutches are gone and you're not strong enough to find it
so grow some bones in yourself, they can't walk out on you
and all these applies to me too
i've always thought of life as a movie
a never ending movie
cause whoever's up there, is the director
and us down here, we're the actors/actresses
the only difference from a movie you see in theatres is,
we weren't given any scripts
you can whine all about it, but you know,
the 'people' up there couldn't care less
you just live, move on, go
whether or not this movie turns out good
it's all your 'acting' skills that counts
and after we die, somebody takes over
and the whole things repeats itself
never ending
so now you see how much money the 'people' up there are making? lol xp
excuse me :X
6:01:00 PM
Friday, December 08, 2006
today is the day my big bro gets enlisted
we set off at 7.30am
he needs to reach there
by 9am
then we took ferry with
him to pulau tekong
where he will undergo
his first 3 months of basic military training
we took a mini tour around the bmtc school 1
it's huge
we had to take bus to travel
from one place to another there
we checked out the rooms which
they will be staying in
it's like chalet, really
it's so modern and spacious
each of them gets a spring bed,
their own cupboard
12 people will be sharing the room
it looks really comfortable
then there was the recreation room
there's 2 pool table
a table tennis table, television
oh man, it looks better than home
haha
i think my bro's gonna have
a lot of fun there
aside from the gruelling training
when i was there, i got this feeling
like they purposely fabricate an image
that it's a good life there
cause all the parents are present
but once we leave the island,
who knows what goes on in there
haha
then we head to the auditorium
where we were briefed about the army life
it looks fun to me x)
then i kept telling my big bro
it's like a vacation resort there
then he told my mom: when she comes of age,
make sure you sign her(me) up
lol
then he suggested to my 2nd bro that
before i leave the island, make sure
to tie me up and make me stay there
haha
though it looks nice on the outside
i'm not stupid enough to not know that
that's not all to it
army life is tough
haha
we were told by the chief commanding officer
that we can receive our first phone call
from recruits tonight!
and i told my bro, i'll be the one
picking up the phone when he calls
then he sold my 2nd bro:
snatch the phone away from her after
she picks it up=)
he is such a lousy liar
pretend don't miss me
but i know he does
haha xp
after the briefing, we then
head to the cookhouse? tohave lunch with him
and he kept pushing me to
eat faster
i don't know why he's in such a rush
but i think that he's not good at saying goodbye
so if the longer we stay, the more it'll makehim miss us
he'll be out on the 22! yay!
then after that it's like schooling
5 days a week, except that he doesn't
get to come home till weekend
if he pass, he'll graduate from bmtc on 21 march 07!
can watch him graduate! i will definitely go!
haha
once he finishes his ns, it'll be my 2nd bro's turn
now that his in ns, only left my 2nd bro to ka jiao me
but when my 2nd bro enters ns, my big bro'll be out
then he can ka jiao me!
haii
guess i can never escape them! xp
from today onwards, he'll be the
new atm machine in the family!
and i can retire!
cause he have no reason to
borrow money from me anymore!
wahahaha!
i know he'll sure like army life
cause can use weapons and such
he's always liked this kind of stuff
the vid kept emphasizing that
ns will turn boys into men
you know, very serious and all
it's hard to think visualize my bro
becoming a man
haha
just don't lose his sense of humour
or else it won't be fun anymore
and the boys to men stuff
got me realizing that me n my bros
are growing up very fastand
it kinda stinks
i think back to our childhood
when we played like nobody's business
those days are over
my bro's in the army now
he's becoming a man now
wonder how he'll do as a man...
but i don't worry that much
cause he's pretty much a man
even before ns
cause he's the eldest
so naturally, he would be
the responsible, sensible kind
so no worries
but no matter what, he's still my bro
born my bro, always my bro
bro for life! =D
(i can imagine him groaning
if he ever sees this, going:
aw man, i'm gonna be stuck with you?!)
-.- like he don't know already...
he very kou shi xin fei one la
i don't know if this applies to him,
but,i wouldn't want
to be stuck with anybody else =D
excuse me :X
6:13:00 PM
