you got your back turned all this time
it's as if all of these didn't happen


-- i don't wanna wait another minute
to hear
something that i already know

i will always remember you
as the person who thought this world
is a giant grocery store
and the people are your fruits and vegetables

got my retainers yesterday
i must wear full time for at least a year
then subsequently night-timely
and now i have speech problem
speak like a person with short tongue
haha
because the retainers like blocking my tongue
and i have to learn how to speak again
like baby ah
haha
but my dentist say will get used to it de
she also wearing retainers and when
she speak, sounds okay to me
so i'm hoping to get used to it soon! =)



there's a first time for everything
sorry, guinea pig =)

here are some pictures i found on mooktakim
they're funny!
take a look! =)



click this pic for animation

now, i can look at you and smile
because i forgive
because i am not angry anymore
i am no longer sad, and i don't regret all that much
i let it go
i know it's still not over
but that doesn't matter

an incredible thing happened today
i was practising my guzheng
then i saw the guitar score sheets for
ju hua tai and qian li zhi wai song
on my score stand (which i borrowed
from my bro a few days ago)
at first, i had no idea how to convert
the guitar notes to guzheng notes
then i just played do re mi
and sang the tune for ju hua tai
and it matched!
then i just anyhow played, trying
to match the tune
then i thought of making the first
3 notes that i've discovered as a reference
and wrote down in guzheng form,
the rest of the notes
then i played them
and it sounded exactly the same!
i felt so accomplished!
i mean, i really had no idea how to convert
and guitar score and guzheng score
look really different
guitar is letters and guzheng is numbers
now, i've figured out the main melody
but the background part haven't
without the background, the song
doesn't have much impact
i saw somebody playing these songs
on the guzheng before
i wanted to find the score badly
but now, i think i can make my own
it will take time, but i'll feel happier playing them
that feeling, it raises your spirit!
this is like an improvement
because i'm always playing songs
that are already on scores
so i just need to learn and practise
but now, it's like almost creating my own,
though not exactly,
but i love it! =)

i've taken out my braces! =)
i'm gonna wear retainers starting next week
my dentist was really quick with taking out my braces
i thought will have to take out the rubber then the wire
but actually, she just remove the brackets and everything
and the whole thing will come off
i still remember when i first put it on
it took so long
and within a minute it's removed
now my mouth feels kinda empty
and my gums are overflowing
because there's no more metal inside
and i can lick across my teeth
it feels so smooth
this is the first time i see my teeth so straight!
and having not being able to see my teeth( w/o anything on it)
for 2 years
i just realized that my teeth are big
and yellow
lol
haha
just felt so happy today
2 years pass really fast
i could still remember how it was like to
first put braces on
i've hated it at first because it was uncomfortable
then i grew to like it
now i miss it
haha
when my dentist took out my braces
and put it on the table
i just looked at it and felt quite sad
thinking that i'm never gonna wear that again
=D

i will not go through it again...

eye pain!!!

here are all the ones which i didn't complete

there are some others too

but too....so i won't put here =)





#1


it's something hard to describe


i don't exactly know how to write


how do you differentiate


coincidences, from the works of fate?




for your future you can strive


but how about the people you meet in your life?


are you bound to meet them in this creation


or did they come with a subtle reason?




***********************************************


#3




will you ever regret


or will you just forget?


to you, i can't be more speechless


it's so hard just to make a mark




***********************************************


#4




don't have to know everything


but i want to know one thing


why are you something


but in my head you are nothing


there was the beginning


which i end up ruining
now i'm laughing



**********************************************


#5



it's just like any other day


the day awaits as you walk down this walkway


you couldn't forget


the same old path, imprinted with your footsteps







your day begins with a step in


whatever that greets you, you greet back, smiling


that's how it went on


that's how this went on for so long







what a wonderful sight


the person standing in the light


you could see almost everything



*************************************************


#6



i have created a chorus of a song in my head


i wonder when's the day it would be played


somehow or rather, it was made


let's hope you can hear it before it fades






when the storm and spring


comes together to bring


all the beautiful things


please do not blink



***********************************************


#7



i'm 15 and still not living


so many days have passed and i'm still dreaming


sometimes i wonder what i'm doing


i'm on the right track towards losing


i could see all the things i'm missing


yet the defunct mind is not responding


i'm sitting alone waving


saying goodbye to everything


this is the best there ever could be is what i'm pretending


i will look back without regretting



****************************************************


#8



waking up cold in the morning shine


is this life really mine


the clock is ticking and there goes time


you see yourself through their eyes
whatever they say you took too much


now you're sinking deeper and deeper


how do you unentangle these vines


it's your life why should they matter


are you a slave for them?


why is it so important if they look at you in another way


you won't gain anything anyway


to hell with what they think


it's my life that i'm living



******************************************************


#9



if you dig deep enough you won't find much


lying there will just be a piece of fragile heart


grasping for air, it's losing its beat


it's dying out, minute by minute


yeah rain on it all you want


make it bleed if you think it's fun


so many have walked by but pretended not to see


thinking there will always be another one until the morning three


didn't dare to look up fearing of everything


indulge in agony for all things missed



************************************************************


#10



i had a good life


i thought everything would be fine


would work out the way i want it to be


i was spoiled


i realised the hard way that life ain't as kind as my family


how did it ever come to this?


now i'm trying to piece back the life that i had no idea of ruining.



***************************************************************


#11



you are desperate


and doin things that are not worth the effort



*****************************************************************

#12

the day is bright, the sky so beautiful

the presence of the wind, soothing and cool

leaves from the trees, they drop a few

you felt your heart, contented and full



all your friends, waving from a distance

smiling to yourself, you rejoice your existence

you live your life like a jar full of happiness

the pictures of your smile are in abundance



this is how you walk down the same path everyday

this is how you do it, come what may

never would you expect the sky to turn grey

but it did, the clouds loom over, and you're out of words to say



we ™


i'm not a depressed person hor!
just that sad stories have more feelings =p

i was reading an article on the
straits times today
about elderly dying alone in old folks home
then sombody said: if no one turns up at your funeral,
it's as though your life didn't count
i felt i have read this sentence somewhere before
and it's really sad
you lived your life like you didn't live at all




you don't give a sh*t about it
why do you even pretend to care so much?
i am the walking proof of you
could you be any fake-r?
i think you can, believe in yourself.

what would you have done
if you had known?

**
you get so caught up in your own words
sometimes i just don't feel like saying anything
you drown in them
this ear won't be open all the time
it won't last forever
you might be talking to air for all i know

suenddly cnt'a wtia for thsi yrea to be oerv

yesterday went to marina square to eat then
go esplanade there to watch fireworks
when we got there, my big bro showed
me this furniture shoo called molecule
it sold a lot of cool stuff there
but the things re quite expensive
then we went to pasta de waraku at around
7.30 but had to queue up
we had to wait for 1h 30mins
usually, won't wait that long
but since yesterday we planning to stay past 12
so it's okay
in the meantime, we walked around
then i saw at top shop
got one heels or whatever you call it
it was 10cm high!
i know, 'cause i measured
then i thought of nas (kukuhead =p)
she could wear those!
but the heels were tilted so steeply
i think it could break your ankles
and btw even if she wear those,
she's still not taller than me!
hahahaha
finally! it was our turn
i don't know why but i did not really
feel like eating yesterday
i ordered 1 side dish, 1 main dish and a strawberry milk shake
i ate the slowest, trying to finish the food
whereas my dad, he ordered 2 spaghetti and something else
which i cannot remember
the dishes come in very small portions
the picture in the menu looked much bigger!
after eating, we went outside of esplanade
the bridge there, to watch fireworks
on our way there, obviously there will be a lot of people
we had to squeeze our way through
then my big bro is in charge of pushing through
since he has a big size
then my mum and dad hang onto each other's
shoulders and followed behind
then my 2nd bro held my hand and led me through
there was once when there was a lot
of people and he just charged through
like a bull
haha
very funny
then finally we reached the middle of the bridge
it was quite spacious there
at least, not as crowded as the ends
then we sat down and wait to 12
for the fireworks to start
it was my first time celebrating the
new year this way
the fireworks display were awesome!
it lasted for around 9 minutes
i got my 2nd bro to video it
and i tried to send new year messages on time
but couldn't, 'cause there were a lot of people sending
after the fireworks, we made our way back
then got 1 funny thing happened
as i was holding 2nd bro's hand and walking
got a guy tried to push in between us
but both of us won't let go of our hands
then he had to keep pushing and pushing
then we laughed and finally let him through
haha
i think he might be pissed
but what the heck
haha
then i started grabbing my big bro's hand
then the 3 of us walked together
it made me feel like when i was young
we used to walk together
so missed those days
haha
then on one of the escalators we saw a jam
there were too many people
and the people could not get off in time
so the people behind were stucked
while the escalator kept on moving
haha
so funny
wouldn't want to be caught up in that situation
i was thinking, those taking public transport
how they get home?
it's like so damn many people
even we travel by car
it also took us a long time to even
get out of the car park
by the time we reached home, it was around 2am already
it was so fun, celebrating with my family
i felt so happy =D

HAPPY 2008!