Thursday, November 26, 2009
just like to share something interesting
this is the "George Carlin Theory"
the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends... i mean, life is tough. it takes up a lot of your time and what do you get at the end of it? death. i mean, what's that, a bonus? i think the life cycle is all backwards. you should die first, get it out of the way. then you move on to an old people's home. you get kicked out when you're too young. you get a gold watch then you go to work. you work for forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. you have fun, party plenty, then you get ready for senior school. then you go to junior school, you become a kid, you play and you have no responsibilities. you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm.
hahaha! :D
excuse me :X
9:24:00 AM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
i haven't written poems for a long time now
i stopped because of what it meant to me then that i didn't want to continue
but now i feel differently towards it and the representation of what it is
so here is my first poem in a long time
i just feel like i need to express all these out in a non direct way
so there you go
talking about everything that i didn't want to know
everything you do and every word you say
just puts your insecurity on display
it's like stepping on others to get to the top
you just keep going and going and never stop
do you feel proud about what you did?
because you're someone who just doesn't get it
your words and actions are like bullets
i should reflect them to you just to see how it hurts
sometimes i feel like screaming into your face
to try to squeeze in a little grace
being a mannequin is what you're good at
and mannequins are perfect to puke at
- ---- --- -- ----- --- -- ------- -- --
--- ----- ----- ---- --- ---- ------ ----- -----
the light shines on that very spot
you just had nothing better to do than to stand there and block
why put yourself in such a sorry state
chasing down everyone who has the ticket
my jaw dropped at the dagger you threw
at whatever even though you knew
you defy ------ beyond believe
you steal no different from a thief
if this is the only way you're gonna build the net
i wish you all the best with that
because i admit i'm not any better than you
but at least i don't do the things you do
and i'm trying to walk in another shoe
the --- rep things that i choose not to say
not to insult or intentionally offend down syndrome but
my big bro said: i have the up syndrome
i lack the 'sanity' gene
hahaha! :D
excuse me :X
6:42:00 PM
Monday, November 23, 2009
really, this is who you are?
i never thought you are such a person
well i admit at times i do wonder
but then i tell myself that you are not and i should trust you 100%
but now it seems i'm wrong
i'm not saying anything to you because you disappoint me
the way things are going now it seems like you have used me
i'm starting to think maybe that's who you are if you still don't say anything
don't know why i keep writing about emo stuff
it's not like my life is only about these emo stuff
there are ahppy stuff which i don't write much about
it's just i like to write about these
lol
excuse me :X
6:53:00 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
well yltc was fun but tiring
it made me try a lot of stuff i wouldn't have tried on my own
and also learn a lot of lessons
but got a lot of bites and bruises
i look like i just came out of war
haha
then when i stood beside jovita she said she look like a maid abuser
haha
then my guitar teacher actually don't dare to ask why i got so many bruises until i told him i went for camp
today zhongyun kept saying i really look like i came back from war
hahaha
yeah so today i went to the beach with zhongyun
i wanted to talk to her about a lot of stuff
and i want to go to watch the sea
got calming effect you know
yeah
so it's like i realise it's really up to me
she said that sometimes you can't solve it because you don't want to solve it
hmmm yeah maybe
it's really up to me to change my screwed up way of seeing things
must be hou lian pi
but it does feel better sharing with somebody
esp with someone who has similar thoughts and feelings as you
feel like you can relate more
but it's damn tough
sometimes i feel it's beyond my capability
and yeah
i like the conclusion about you
you're just insecure
so much more insecure than me
all along i wondered why you did all those things
and we also revealed some stuff we would never have said in school
and i kinda feel glad that zy feels the same as me
makes you feel like you're not the only one thinking this way
so we talked for the entire afternoon
until we're tired and dehydrated
hahaha :)
i hope zy won't say some of the stuff we said today
sssshhhhh secret
haha
& i admit, honestly, i haven't stop comparing
i know i would be so much happier if i stopped comparing
but i can't
for me this kind of person who thinks excessively
ignorance is bliss
but a lot of times things that i don't want to know
will just keep dancing around in front of my face
i always thought i love myself
but i realise recently that i don't
because if i do, i wouldn't self sabotage, i wouldn't destroy myself this way
i wouldn't feel that i don't deserve all the things that i should
i wouldn't feel no sense of self worth
i need to start loving myself
and stop feeling like i should let other people
and i feel i got a lot of stuff to think about
about how to go about climbing out of this deep shit hole
and whether i really wanna become a doctor
whether everything that i'll have to go through is worth it
and today's yan ngee's birthday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
long live es!
though she still haven't thank me yet! hmph!
haha :)
oh thanks zhongyun for hearing me out today
and anil & atika for your concern
and anil for talking to me about this the other day
:D
i wish you have tried harder
excuse me :X
9:47:00 PM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
zhongyun told me this the other day:
assume makes an ass out of u and me
i think it's very interesting and a good reminder to me
to stop my habit of assuming things
and torturing myself
and i should learn to swallow my pride sometimes
at the end of the day
you don't have to prove anything to anyone
you only have to prove to yourself
what am i supposed to say
when you chose to walk away
excuse me :X
1:55:00 PM
Monday, November 09, 2009
i just wanna say
recently i realised who are truly the beautiful people
there are people who are nice on a every day basis
but when it comes down to it
they are just nice on the outside
whereas there are some people
whom you think are not that nice
but at times that you really need help
they appear and help you out
or during certain times that they do things
that just makes you see the real beauty in them
these are the real people
it's like a diamonds trapped under sand
and only certain times does the sand blow away and reveal the diamonds beneath
and these people are hard to come by
you have to look carefully to find these people
:)
excuse me :X
10:43:00 PM
