i don't know how you do it. i could never figure it out. i am just amazed. throughout the years i have seen so much. so many things that could drive an ordinary person crazy. but through all the chaos you remained sane. you never fail to always be there for us, though i know sometimes you wished we could be more there for you too. like a solid steel pillar that never wavers. nothing fazes you. and your enthusiasm. where would i be without your enthusiasm. i know sometimes we would start arguing after speaking a few words, and be able to rub each other the wrong way so effortlessly. i am still trying and have so many things to work on. i love that i still hug you every day, ever since i was 11. sometimes after i had a bad day, when i hug you when you came home, i feel so much better. i don't even have to say anything. especially when i really don't want to say anything. a lot of things i watch from the sidelines. some things are so hard to watch, but just watching you gives me hope. how is it possible for someone to be this strong. where do you get your strength from. i believe it is your nature. you are just strong like that. to the strongest woman i'll ever know, happy birthday mum! :)
excuse me :X
10:42:00 PM
Sunday, November 27, 2011
thanks for the heart attack today. i updated my phone to ios5 and didn't back up properly. so everything is gone. i almost died when i realised that. it feels like i lost everything. the sudden kind of emptiness. like one second ago you had all your files and data in your phone and now they're totally gone. luckily i saved my photos beforehand. but my contacts are all gone. luckily i found that i stored my contacts somewhere on my comp last year. so not all are lost. at first it was really hard to accept, but then this mistake help put in perspective for me. of what are the things that are really important. when i'm forced to lose so many things, did i realise i didn't actually lose much. i actually had a lot of junk in my phone. when i had them i thought those are the things i must have. but when i lost them, i realised that it doesn't really matter whether i had them or not. and as for contacts, i used to have 3 digit number in it because as i changed phones i just backed up and transferred everything over. and obviously i do not contact everyone in my contact list all the time. we contacted during a period of time but things happen and life happens and people start to fade out. since i have to restore the contacts manually, i only restored those that i keep contact with. so from 3 digit to 2 digit, it seems like a whole lot emptier. but then nothing really changed because even if i had those other contacts in my phone, but i don't keep in contact with them, does it make a difference? but i'm glad to see those who have remained constant. for those people i met from end of last year onwards, they will be completely lost. but there's always facebook. haha. for those i met in school, i can get from them again next sem. and my messages. i'm not the kind who delete messages. any kind of messages. as long as there is space in my phone, i won't bother deleting them. and to me, messages sometimes help me to recall what happened in the past. it's like a journal writing itself. like what conversation you had with this person during this time or what happened then etc. because i don't have a very good memory so sometimes it helps. helps in what. i don't know. haha. so why such a long rant about this. people lose their stuff all the time. my big bro told me he lost his contacts 5 or 6 times. and he doesn't back up his contacts. because i am not the the best person in letting go of stuff. actually i'm the worst person in letting go of stuff. i like to keep a lot of things for memory's sake,because i really do forget a lot of things and i want to remember them. when i forget things, it's as though they never happened. and i don't like the feeling of things that should matter or once mattered to be as though they never existed. even the most important things will be forgotten overtime. i will only remember some things if something jolted or triggered that memory. so i keep things to trigger memories. so since i have no choice, i can take this as a fresh start. and i'm not really friends with technology. it doesn't really like me. next time i'll just store things in certain places and not all over the place so when i want to store them i don't have to go all over the place to collect them like some farmer collecting eggs from chickens that lay their eggs everywhere. haha
excuse me :X
1:02:00 AM
Saturday, November 05, 2011
why am i still surprised? it's not like i've not been through this before. is it possible for karma to come in a form of human? i should have never decided that this isn't who you are.
excuse me :X
6:23:00 PM
THE OLD FART
Wan En
18
HKPS(1999-2004)
Commonwealth Sec (2005-2008)
National JC (2009-2010)
