Wednesday, February 22, 2012
"I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand"
-anonymous.
excuse me :X
9:11:00 AM
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I was giving tuition the other day. And my tutee and I came to talk about compounds and how do they look like. So I told her that she will learn different types of compounds, and the structure depends on the type of compound. I said there is ionic compound, erm another one and metallic compound. Ok wait I can't remember what's the second one. Ok you wait ah let me think about it. Oh my god why can't I remember the second one. -try my hardest to think, squeezing out all my brain juice- omgomg what is it. I know its non metal and non metal BUT WHAT IS THE NAME??? I wasn't panicking because of my tutee. I was panicking because of how I have forgotten something so basic and something've learnt for so long, drilled for so many years (actually only a few haha)i must have probably written that word for more than a thousand times. It was like a basic language when I was still studying chemistry. what is seriously wrong with me?? I really couldn't remember. It's like completely foreign to me. Then at night I remembered this incident and I still could not remember the name. So I tried to google. When I was about to click on the website that would give me the answer, I suddenly remembered. IT'S COVALENT COMPOUND!!! OMGGGG. SERIUSLY.
HAHAHAH! me and my fantastic memory:)
No one can actually have another person's experience.
excuse me :X
10:51:00 PM
Friday, February 17, 2012
finally done with the critique. it took me so long to do it and spent so much time researching. i wanted to try to get it as satisfactory to me as possible, but ended up handing in work i think i can do better. when will i ever be satisfied with my work? i'm talking about essays kind of work. not like maths or science. those just need to get it right can already. but for essays there's always this expectation i have of myself. why am i rambling about this. just glad i can wash my hands off of this already. haha
so fast recess week already. why does this sem go by so quickly. everyone says so too. i need to have more focus this sem.
i can't remember what was the other thing i wanted to write about. keep feeling like i've forgotten something. haha
:)
excuse me :X
4:22:00 PM
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
From someone who doesn't really drink coffee to someone who has to drink coffee throughout the day to keep awake, what has happened to me? i haven't really done much. where have all my energy run off to?
excuse me :X
1:37:00 PM
Sunday, February 12, 2012
sorry for the language. but i find this very true.
haha putting these 2 pictures together looks very contradicting. but if you see it in another way, it also makes sense. i got these pictures from some app in my phone. it's like those things you read and it hits the right nerve inside of you and you can totally relate to it. whoever created these, i'm grateful to them. it shows that i'm not the only one who is feeling this way. i keep reminding myself with the second one when i get overwhelmed by certain things and it makes me feel better. because being overwhelmed is like being locked up in a cage and blindfolded. there is a whole other perspective out there but you just can't see it. so you torture yourself with the situation and no thoughts of other possiblities. there is always a way out. when i feel like everything is going wrong, this at least dangles some hope in front of me. words are so simple. but when put in the right order, it can be the sunrise or sunset in someone's world.
excuse me :X
8:55:00 PM
Saturday, February 11, 2012
There's only so much I can do. I hope I realize one day that it has nothing to do with me. I don't know if I'm headed in the right direction. But I avoided something I should have avoided. I don't know what else is there to do. Maybe even if I didn't do what I did, it would still have gone this way. Maybe it's not so much about me anymore as it is about what I seemingly "propel" others to do. It's not something I can control. In a way, it's good for the others.
Never lose sight of what really matters. Never lose my ground. Always remember what this is all about. It's so easy to fall off the wagon.
excuse me :X
2:29:00 PM
Friday, February 10, 2012
Harsh words are not easy to listen to. Initially they stung me a bit. But then I kept thinking about them. And slowly they start to make sense. Sometimes it's really the words that you do not want to hear that are the best for you. All I want to say is thankfully to those harsh words/truth, i felt a bit free after that. This is nothing new and not something I've not experienced before. A face can turn as easy as a coin can flip.
excuse me :X
5:49:00 PM
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
how to describe today:
blow my brains out. -->(-.-)*****
excuse me :X
2:11:00 PM
Monday, February 06, 2012
i noticed that i always write seemingly emo stuff. and not like normal everyday stuff. and seldom happy stuff? doesn't mean i'm always that sad. it's just stuff that happened or is hapening sit inside of me and sometimes they just decide to surface and i need an outlet to pour them out. i tend to make them quite emo because of the way i put it. it's my form of expression. my play with words. i find that it means more to me if i expressed them this way. and not that i like to amplify them. but when things go inside my head, they tend to be amplified, whether i want it or not. it sounds crazy that i can't control my head, even though it's my own head. sometimes i feel like a seperate entity from my mind. it's like i can stand outside of myself and see how crazy my thinking can be. Dear mind, how is it possible that you can think this way? why do you process things so crazily? do i sound like a kukubird now. i should say more. so i will reach the stage of complete kuku-ness. haha. i'll be alright. i'm always alright. if i'm not alright, what else can i be. everyone is alright. just that sometimes negativity and sadness tip the balance and we feel that emotion more. so we are sad. sometimes we happiness overwhelms and we feel happy. but at the end of the day, the bottomline is ,everyone is alright.
who would have thought. i got it wrong. what did i expect. sometimes it's a blow to me. and i tend to associate similar events. liket they would happen the same way. but i should not stop believing. out of the many lights, there must be one bulb that's about to blow.
excuse me :X
9:22:00 PM
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I have nothing to say to you
Except that I'm sorry
Even though the story played out long ago
This guilt is the star of its own show
The only thing I did wrong was not standing up for myself enough
Letting the crowd drown me out
Wither away by the sound of my own voice
I should have pushed back when pushed
And made a way for myself
No matter how far back I step
I can't see the end of this picture
Till my back touched the wall
I realized, the fact is, I don't understand anyone at all.
These kind of things just pop up
It's so random
I was doing maths and suddenly the first sentence popped up in my head
So I wrote it down
And I just kept writing for another 10 minutes or so
And then I realized I'm supposed to be doing maths and I need to get back to it right away but I end up doing this as you can see haha
If only I'm good at drawing, then I can draw out the scenarios floating around in my head
I like that writing begins from a picture in your head
I don't know how true this is for others but it's the case for me most of the time
excuse me :X
11:42:00 AM
