when i was young, i used to scare myself with something real stupid i made up.i would think about it over and over again until it freaked me out, until i feel like its the end of the world, there's no hope left.its really silly, i know...but i was young...i didn't know anything. but now, i did not make anything up, but why am i even feeling scared sitting down. im not thinking of anything and i feel cold(scared).there is something call fate.i hate it.it's my enemy.i'll bring the hate to my grave.i used to love it until now.i've written down my dreams on several parchments. fate burnt my first parchment.the parchment which had my most beautiful dream on it.my dream is gone.its never gonna happen.because of fate.really..did i ever offended it? why does it have to do this to me. it's unreasonable.that's all.i don't think i can get over it.maybe i never will.its a big serious thing.its no joke.i can't take it easy.i won't take it easy.i don't hate anything else except fate.this is my second time writing this. the first time i wrote this and was about to publish it when there was a blackout.was it trying to hint me something?was it trying to let me not publish it?im not okay.this is the first time i've ever feel im really not okay.in the past, when i feel down,i feel okay cause i know i'll get passed it.time heals everything.does it?once,i really thought life was turning around.guess that's just an illusion.or im deluding myself.im opening my eyes and looking at my dreams come crashing down on me.when i think about it,my eyes will turn red and tears well up.but im not gonna let the tears fall.cause the hell i would let fate see me cry.the hell i would drop a tear because of it.over my dead body.i don't like to express my sad feelings,and because of this,im destroying myself bit by bit everyday.i had a horrible past.it destroyed half of me. go on fate, destroy what's left of me.until i was no more.then i'll be happy.i don't care anymore.there's one person who helped me indirectly.her behaviour,though unsightly,made me realised a lot of things.one day,i'll thank her.
destroy me. i won't mind.
im looking forward to tomorrow!!cause i'll be hanging out with my pri sch frens! its been a long time!=)
excuse me :X
5:27:00 PM
THE OLD FART
Wan En
18
HKPS(1999-2004)
Commonwealth Sec (2005-2008)
National JC (2009-2010)
